143 (I love you)

    Today was a bad Reason day. I turn 23 in one week and my daughter never got to celebrate a birthday… A day I was always excited about has lost its luster, how can I have 23 birthdays when she had none. It’s not fair and I hate it. When I woke up this […]

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A Reason to Celebrate

      I know it’s been a bit since I posted but honestly life has been hectic and evolving lately. Frank and I married on the 21st of March, the first day of spring, a time for new beginnings. Our ceremony was beautiful and every part of it honored Reason and her memory. The flower for […]

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Not Feeling Twenty-two

     I’ve aged so much since Reason’s death. I don’t feel like a twenty-two year old; that catchy Taylor Swift beat doesn’t resonate with me. I feel ancient, I have knowledge I shouldn’t. I have knowlege no one should have. No one should know what it feels like to lose a child, no one should […]

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I’m not sorry

     In a lot of ways three months is harder than the first few days. In the first few days I had people who were there for me and who promised they would be there as long as I needed them. They were liars. The people I had known all of my life abandoned me […]

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Before my daughter died

     Before my daughter died, I took a bath every other day, now I don’t remember the last time I showered. Before my daughter died I knew who I was now I don’t have any idea. Before my daughter died I thought I was a good mother now I feel like a failure. Before my […]

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