Capture Your Grief 2015- Day 9. Family

     What does my family look like now?  That’s the question for today’s Capture Your Grief. In a lot of ways I still feel like my family died on November 11th last year.  Reason was what gave me a family all my own,  she was the family that Frank and I made together. I lost that.  So what’s my family look like now?  I guess it’s me and my husband and our pets.
      I mean we have our parents and siblings and extended family but it’s not the same as the family that you make for yourself.  Everyone else is kinda just given to you.  The family you create is something still connected but entirely different,  special, yours. Today’s subject is hard because it hurts. It’s a reminder that I’ll never have the family I wanted,  the family I spent my entire life planning.
       All I wanted was my girl and I had to lose her, my dream child,  my perfect family. Gone. Nothing will every be okay again and I have to live with that and accept that my family will always be incomplete.  I still have Frank and for now, he’s my family and one day our family will grow again but it will be forever incomplete. I will miss you always,  Reason Rayne.

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We attended a candle lighting Tribute to donor families earlier this evening. It was a beautiful reminder of what our loss meant to other families.

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Reason’s Candle

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Donor and Recipient candles

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Me and the pets Banshee (cat ) Chewbacca (dog)

I’m sorry this post is so short,  honestly,  today was emotional and family is hard to talk about when you’re a childless parent.

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