I know it’s been a bit since I posted but honestly life has been hectic and evolving lately. Frank and I married on the 21st of March, the first day of spring, a time for new beginnings. Our ceremony was beautiful and every part of it honored Reason and her memory. The flower for June is roses so we had handmade ribbon roses sewn onto my dress on strands of pearls along with beautiful butterflies. My bouquet was wildflowers and butterflies as well as ivy that was gifted to me by Reason on a particularly bad day. She gives me signs all the time to let me know that I’ll be okay, that she loves me and wants me to be happy, it’s getting easier to be happy. As long as I talk about her and keep her memory alive I am happy. When people try to stop me from talking about her that’s when I hurt the most. People don’t realize how important remembering her is. She’s more than just a dead baby, she’s my daughter, my pride and joy, my I love you forever. No one will ever take that from me. No one will ever take her from me.
One of my best friends put those together for me as well as my beautiful cake. For less than $1,000 I had the most amazing and breathtaking ceremony, it couldn’t have been more perfect.
Reason’s presence was felt very strongly by all and our wedding day was the happiest day we’ve had since we lost her. I know she smiled on us that day and every day since. Her love carries me everyday and without it I would be gone today is the last day of our honeymoon and on this trip I’ve told so many people about our girl. I don’t do it for sympathy, I do it so people will know that she was here and she was loved and still is. It’s my job to keep her memory alive and I take it very seriously. I never want anyone to doubt the depth of my love and devotion to her even in death.
Even as we begin a new chapter in this life Reason will not be forgotten. She will always be a member of my family and she will always hold the biggest piece of my heart.