It’s a bad night </3

      Why, why, why, why? I ask over and over, why me, why her, why us? Where did anyone get the idea that I was strong enough to handle this? How could anyone be strong enough to handle this? Why my daughter? Didn’t I love her enough? Didn’t I try hard enough? Why didn’t any of that matter? Why didn’t it make a difference?
     I hate this so much, I hate the life I’m being forced to live. How long will I have to cope with this pain? When will the good days out number the bad? How does anyone survive this? I have so many questions that may never have answers. I’ve barely survived 3 months of this, how am I supposed to survive the rest of my life? Why does anyone expect me to survive this? Where do people get the idea that I’m strong from? I’m weaker than I’ve ever been, I’ve done things I’m not proud of and things I can’t take back. I’m failing because I don’t see what I have to live for anymore. I lived for her, she was my everything and now she’s gone and I’m supposed move on? How do I move on from losing her? There is no moving on, I still can’t accept this. I don’t want to accept this, I don’t want to have to accept this… I will miss her always and I will blame myself for longer. I love you, Reason, you will always be my greatest accomplishment. ❤

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