Welcome to the club

     Welcome to the one club you never wished to join. Welcome to a pain beyond compare. Welcome to sleepless nights and days you want to sleep away. Welcome to wishing this was all a nightmare and hating waking up from the dreams of your child. I’m so sorry you’re here but I hope you can find some solace in knowing you’re not alone.
     If I can help through my words or my actions, please let me know. The early days are so hard. The visitation, the funeral, the phone call that gave you the news, running into people who don’t know, all of it is terrible and you will be forever changed because of it. I’m not quite 3 months out and somedays are impossible while others are almost bearable. It’s so hard to believe that the world keeps spinning without our children on it
     It’s okay to be selfish right now, it’s okay to sleep in and it’s okay for your house to be unkept. It’s okay to talk about it and it’s okay to not want to. It’s okay to surround yourself with people and it’s okay to need time alone. Everything your feeling is normal and I know it hurts and I know you might not want to carry on at all. Carry on anyway. Don’t listen to the people who say you’ll get over this, you’ll never be over this. This will leave you changed but you will survive and you may end up stronger. You will always be more cautious with your future and/or remaining children, that’s okay, just try not to let fear paralyze or control you.
     You will make mistakes and be forgetful, you will feel more emotions in one day than you ever thought possible. You will cry more tears than you ever have and you will feel an anger you didn’t know existed. Things will hurt less one day, you will smile again and you might just laugh, that’s okay. Don’t feel guilty for being happy, your child would want you to be happy. Take things one second, one minute, one hour at a time, there is no time frame or limit on grief, this will hurt forever but it will hurt less. Thoughts of your child will bring you joy and sometimes heartache, that’s okay. Losing a child sucks it sucks that we were given this life but together, just maybe, we’ll learn to live with this.

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