We had a family schedule for Sundays not too long ago. We’d wake up early because Reason always wanted to even though daddy wanted to sleep in. Sometimes, after I fed her around 8 and changed her butt and clothes she would snuggle back to sleep for about an hour or so. I occasionally used this time to clean up the house.
The next part of our Sunday ritual involved Frank getting up and dressed while I tended to our baby girl. I’d usually feed her before we headed out to “family dinner” around noon. She’d get passed around and loved on, unless she was napping, while we ate whatever Grandma Red had prepared.
The last Sunday before she died we had spent the night at Frank’s brothers and Frank wasn’t feeling up to going to dinner, so he napped instead while I went and enjoyed the time with family and a warm meal. I’m so glad Reason and I went and the family got to see her that last time. I’m also glad we spent her last Saturday with family and I got a picture of her and her cousin Alexis… The last picture I ever got of her.
After the family dinner we would usually go home and watch a movie or read stories, just have a family day. Then at 5pm we would go to Sunday Soups for dinner. Reason would spend the next half hour or so meeting people in the arms of Jennifer the pastor at that church. Her last Sunday my mom came and we fed her a couple cooked carrots from the chicken noodles, she loved them. That was the last time my mom and younger siblings saw her alive.
Today we went to the family dinner and Sunday Soups for the first time since her death. We couldn’t stay long for either, my eyes kept welling up with tears and I was terrified that I would lose it if we stayed too long. I guess we’re just trying to get back to something that feels like normal. It feels so wrong to do the things we did as a family without Reason. She should have been with us trying tomato soup or cheesy potatoes, I wouldn’t have minded the mess, I promise I would have cleaned up after her. It’s so hard doing family day things without the most important part of our family.