Somehow the days get harder

     It’s been a bad week or so. Things have not been going well for me and it’s been hard.  I’m missing you more and more everyday. My heart breaks into a million pieces every morning that I wake up without you. I don’t want to wake up without you another day. But I know […]

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Before my daughter died

     Before my daughter died, I took a bath every other day, now I don’t remember the last time I showered. Before my daughter died I knew who I was now I don’t have any idea. Before my daughter died I thought I was a good mother now I feel like a failure. Before my […]

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Sunday’s are for Family

     We had a family schedule for Sundays not too long ago. We’d wake up early because Reason always wanted to even though daddy wanted to sleep in. Sometimes, after I fed her around 8 and changed her butt and clothes she would snuggle back to sleep for about an hour or so. I occasionally […]

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She called me momma

     I had another dream about Reason, I’ve written about dreams before but the latest one really hit me hard and deserved a post. I woke up crying and brokenhearted that it wasn’t real. I dreamed that the doctors and police and everyone had lied to me. Someone told me she was actually in state […]

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Life is Bittersweet

     It’s been two months since that frigid morning that Frank found our lifeless baby girl. I think about her all the time. I have 69 days to plan my wedding without her and I’m so blessed to have an amazing friend who has been taking care of the expensive things by making my bridesmaids […]

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A Reason for a change

     January 6th I asked the father of my beautiful baby girl to marry me. I got a cheap but durable ring that he could use for work and asked my mom if I could have the beautiful wedding set her late husband Frank Mangrella had used to propose to her. I won’t pretend I […]

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An open letter to Sam Brownback

Dear Sam Brownback,        I have never seen a welfare program ran with less compassion than the SNAP program you cut substantially. You and your entire administration are so concerned with giving tax cuts to the rich and destroying Kansas’s economy you really don’t give a damn if the rest of us starve to death. […]

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